Crazy ER Stories: Room Service

Just when I think I've heard it all. . .

This past week in the ER, one of Brandon's patients pressed the nurse call button. Brandon answered, and then man asked (seriously), "Who is responsible for food orders?"

"What do you mean?" Brandon replied. "We have juice and crackers, do you want me to check with your doctor and see if you can have something?"

"No, no, not that. Here's my list," the man handed him a note. "I want a 3 piece from Popeye's Chicken with the mashed potatoes and a biscuit, fries and a large strawberry milkshake from McDonald's, two chalupas and an order of cinnamon twists from Taco Bell, with a large Diet Coke to drink.  Can you get that to whoever is responsible for picking up food for the patients?"

(Side note: Diet Coke? Really? I'm just saying.)

Brandon, who never ceases to amaze me, kept his cool. "First, there is nobody in this ER who is going to leave the department to go on a food run for you. That's not what we're paid to do. Second, you can't have anything until I check with the doctor. If he says it's okay, I will be more than happy to bring you your choice of juice and crackers. Finally, you're here for heartburn. You might want to reconsider the things you're putting in your stomach."



People, it's called an EMERGENCY DEPARTMENT for a reason.

The MREs have arrived. Great.

The MREs arrived today. Thankfully, Brandon was at work, so I haven't had to taste them yet. They look less than appetizing.

I found out that they are NOT for a backpacking trip like I was hoping. We are planning a trip to Africa next year, and will need to take most of our food with us, and Brandon ordered these to see if MREs would be practical for the trip.

So far, I'm thinking that I will stick with a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter.

Don't worry-- you will get a full report (with pictures) when we eat the MREs. I'll be brave and taste them so that you don't have to. I think the technical term for that is "experiential journalism," but don't let that fool you-- I can already tell that this isn't going to be an "experience", this is going to be a sacrifice of epic proportions. Seriously, preserved liquid eggs and cottage cheese designed to last 14 years? I am actually going to suffer through eating that so that you can know what an MRE is like without having to taste one yourself?

Yes. But only because I've been on an A.J. Jacobs kick recently, and if he can do crazy things like follow every single rule in the Old Testament (including stoning adulterers and refusing to touch or even sit on the same furniture as his wife one week out of each month), and then write about those things for my enjoyment; then I can force myself to at least taste the Meals Rejected by the Enemy and write about it for yours.




***If you are interested in the A.J. Jacobs book, it's called "The Year of Living Biblically," and it is a wonderful read. I also just finished his "My Life as an Experiment" (where he does crazy things like live as George Washington and outsource his personal life to India) and just started "The Know-it-All" (where he reads the Encyclopedia Britannica from a-z).

Apple Pie. . . but no apples.

The beautiful fall weather we've been having inspired us to head out to an apple orchard for some apple picking. Our experience 2 years ago was idyllic-- we found a beautiful Norwegian farm in the middle of nowhere, that let us pick apples for $1.20 a pound. They barely spoke English, but were incredibly welcoming, and we had the entire orchard to ourselves for most of the day. They welcomed us to sample all the types of apples and invited us to enjoy a warm cup of apple cider on their porch after our labor. It was peaceful and romantic, and quickly became one of our favorite traveling memories. 

So, with high expectations of repeating our romantic date, we headed out to Apple Holler. As you can see, it was not an idyllic farm in the middle of nowhere. It was a tourist trap, right off the interstate, with a full parking lot and thick crowds fighting for picture opportunities.

Plus, the minimum charge for apple picking was $39.95. Seriously.

We skipped the apple picking.

We did, however, enjoy a quick dessert from their restaurant/bakery. Brandon chose an apple turnover with fresh apple cider, and I selected a slice of Dutch Apple Pie. The desserts were delicious, I will give them that. The apple pie was without a doubt the best slice of pie I have ever had.

But the next time we get the urge to go apple picking, we're going to try to find another sweet country farm. No more crowded tourist traps for me, please.

Pictures from Lake Michigan

Ralph LOVES Lake Michigan. He stands there waiting for the waves to hit him. He needs a mini surfboard!

He is so happy to play in the water!

Fiona likes the lake. . . as long as she stays dry.

She would rather snuggle with me and pose for pictures than play in the cold water!

But she'll venture close as long as Dad is there to keep her safe. 

 

 

Fall, Pumpkins, and. . . MREs??

I am officially declaring it "Fall" in Wisconsin.

I woke up this morning, left my sweet hubby sleeping in bed, threw on some jeans and headed out the door to walk the dogs. I was shocked to find that it was COLD outside! It got down into the 40's last night, and the cool, crisp air has lingered all day. The leaves have started to turn, and the pumpkins are ripe for harvest!

Longtime readers may remember that we spent the Fall of 2008 in Madison, Wisconsin. We went apple picking, floundered through our first corn maze, and spent many hours watching the sun set over the deliciously orange trees across from our apartment. In Arkansas, Fall never seemed to last more than a few days. In Wisconsin, it stretches on for weeks, and we love every minute of it.

But I have to admit, I'm a little surprised by how Brandon is ringing in the season. He's not making plans for apple picking. He's not searching for a nearby farm that does hayrides and bonfires. He's not buying apple cider and hot cocoa.

No, he just ordered us each an MRE.

For those of you unfamiliar with military lingo, MRE stands for "meal: ready to eat." It's an individual ration of food utilized by the military in combat situations or field exercises where fresh food is not available.

Just to give you an idea of what people tend to think of MREs, here are some of the nicknames I've heard:

• Meals Rarely Edible
• Mr. E (mystery)
• Meals Rejected by the Enemy
• Massive Rectal Expulsions

So why did he just ordered us each one? I can only hope this means he's planning a backpacking trip through the fall foliage. We'll see. 

Extension #2

It's only been a week, but it feels like a month!

August was crazy. We've been in Wisconsin, Minnesota, Texas, Georgia, Illinois, and Missouri. Crazy. Crazy. Crazy.

Thankfully, my September calendar is much more empty.

Brandon had a super important job interview last week. We probably won't know anything for sure until November, but we expect that things are going to go in our favor.

For now, we've extended our Wisconsin contract. If everything goes according to plan, Brandon will start his new job the beginning of next year. So we're going to hang out here in Wisconsin for awhile longer. Our extension will make this the longest we've ever spent in one place! I guess that just shows the change in our priorities. . . and how much we love Wisconsin.